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My answer is, “I just don’t let it bother me! I love the attention though, either good or bad, I’m in their mind! I’m sure they mean good, it’s just came out wrong : )!”
Believe me, It wasn’t always this simple, and took me some time before overcoming this natural urgency to protect myself and attack back.
I know it’s not easy for everyone, but just learn slowly, you’ll get there!
Remember the last time you had to deal with these negatives/difficult bitches? Or the last time someone said/do something with the intention of hurting you? Dealing with these kinds of insecure, jealous people has been one of my biggest life’s lessons. No matter where you go, you will face people who are negative, people who oppose your ideas, people who piss you off or people who simply do not like you!. There are 6.4 billion people out there and conflict is a fact of life. This fact isn’t the cause of conflict but it is the trigger to your emotions, you may lose track of your higher selves and become the human animal with an urge to protect yourselves when attacked, your most basic survival instinct; react and attack back to defend yourselves. This too is natural. However, you and I are the only animal blessed with intelligence and having the ability to control our responses. So how do I do that?
Why Bother Controlling your Responses?
1. Hurting yourselves
One of my favorite sayings is “Holding a grudge against someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” The only person get hurt is you. When you react to negativity, you are disturbing your inner space and mentally creating pain within yourselves…get it?! Do yourselves a favor for your health and mental space! Don’t let any negativity rental FREE in your brain! Withdraw from their drama, reconnect with your breath and find that place within you where no one can get you there but you!
2. It’s Not About You, It’s About Them
I’ve learned that when people initiate negativity, it is a reflection of their inner state expressed externally and you just happen to be in front of that expression. It’s not personal, so why do you take it personally? People are often so bored and unhappy with their own lives that they want to take others down with them.
When you react, you are actually giving them what they want. Stop the cycle of negative snowballing and sell them short on what they’re looking for; IGNORE!.
There have been many times when a random person has left a purposefully hurtful comment on other’s FACEBOOK, and regularly checked back to see if anyone else responded to their comment, waiting eagerly to respond with more negativity…THIS IS DUMB!
3. Battle of the Ego
What can be resolved by doing so? The answer: Nothing. It does however feed your ego’s need for conflict. Have you noticed that when you fight back, it feels really satisfying in your heads? But it feels so bad in your soul? Your stomach tightens, and you start having violent thoughts. In my case…instant diarrhea!!?
When you do respond irrationally, it turns the situation from a one-sided negative expression into a battle of two egos. It becomes messier and messier, for Who is Right? To me, when I can’t change a situation, only two options remain, either put up with it or walk away! Option-2 is my FAV of all time!
4. Anger Feeds Anger. Negativity Feeds Negativity.
Nothing ever…any good come out of reacting against someone who is in a negative state! It will only trigger anger and an additional reactive response from that person. If you do respond impulsively, you’ll have invested energy in the useless results going forward! Have you noticed that the angrier your thoughts, the angrier you become? It’s a negative downward spiral, you only harm YOU!
5. Waste of Energy
Where attention goes, energy flows. What we focus on tends to expand itself. Since you can only focus on one thing at a time, energy spent on negativity is energy that could have been spent on our personal wellbeing. Write that on CAPITAL BOLD font!
6. Negativity Spreads
I’ve found that once I allow negativity in one area of my life, it starts to subtly bleed into other areas as well. When you are in a negative state or holding a grudge against someone, you feel like craps! You carry that energy with you as you go about your day! When you feel that way, you lose sight of clarity and may react unconsciously to matters in other areas of your lives, you may blow easily to innocent people.
7. Freedom of Speech
People are as entitled to their opinions as you are. Allow them to express how they feel about you, your life and everything they think they wanna pick on and let it be. Remember that it’s all relative and a matter of perspective. What you consider positive can be perceived by another as negative. When you react, it becomes me-versus-you, who is right? Accept them for who they are and where they are on their journey. Care of your own mind, not theirs!
Some people may have a less than eloquent way of expressing themselves – it may even be offensive, but they are still entitled to do so. They have the right to express their own opinions and you have the right and will power to choose your responses. You can choose peace or you can choose conflict!
10. Go for a Run
… or a swim, yoga or some other workout. Physical exercise can help to release the negative and excess energy in you. I use jogging and yoga as my tool to clear my mind and release built up negative energy. Meditate 10 min a day can also quite your mind and reconnect with your higher self, or I call it my “holy twin sister” who bitch slap me when I don’t listen to her.
8. Choose to Eliminate Negative People In Your Life
Yeahhh…you got that damn right! Eliminate these toxic people! They’re just a source of energy drain. And deeply unhappy people will want to bring you down emotionally, so that they are not down there alone. Be aware of this. Unless you have a lot of time on your hands and do not mind the energy drain, I recommend that you cut them off from your life all together!
Cut them out by avoiding interactions with them as much as possible. Remember that you have the choice to commit to being surrounded by people who have the qualities, admire you and bring up the best in you!.
I call it a SELF RESPECT! When you really respect yourself, you don’t spend time with people who treat you badly. Start believing you deserve to have a good, healthy & peace, life filled with abundant and happiness!
Not everybody in your life was meant to last a lifetime. It’s perfectly okay to let go of people who don’t bring you the joy in life you deserve. Make space for new, enriching people to enter your life.
Love yourself enough to don’t let anyone hurt you purposely! Live your life the way it makes you happy, the rest of the world can just deal with it!
*The less you response to negative people, the more peaceful your life will become"
So, if you are new in this trick...practise! practise! practise!
Let me know how did you handle it? What was the result? What can you do in the future to get through these situations with peace and grace?
NAMASTE!