About Me

I’m often labeled as a " FREE-SPIRIT"! 
At first, I wasn’t sure what this label was supposed to mean. It seemed like such a trivial way to categorize such complex beings.

I live in the moment, true! I don't follow the crowd nor lead it.  I'm happy-go-lucky, I go where the winds take me, I'm not a fighter as I hate conflict, I could easily turn my back from anyone or anything when things gets too complicated (even with all efforts tried to fix it), yet still emotionally drained. Things that are not in my power to control (like people & outside world), all I can do is to control my response to it & walk away! 

I am not a pusher nor a loser, I just love living a simple life: love, secure, peace, comfortable, stability and clarity are my life goals.  I enjoy material stuff if I can afford them, or if there is any & provided free, as much as I enjoy not having them!  I own only few rules to my life, I do things my way and my style. I learned to be happy alone, thus it is hard to tolerate anyone or anything that can't make me just as happy or settle for anything less. In another words: I reserved the full right of feeling empower of myself and my life...is that so bad?

I live life with the attitude that whatever happens happens, and as long as I’ve got air in my lungs and enough money in my bank account to pay bills and to live, I’m good to go. I’m totally cool with letting go, with not knowing where the day will take me.  I don’t burden myself with a need for fancy things or an expensive home. I just need someone else to have those things and let me use them, with them or without them : )  

I am who I am 

I don’t let anything hold me back—not fear, or social conventions, lucky me the fact that I’m completely financially independent on others for literally everything that I do. I carry two University degrees that allows me to support myself with good permanent well paid job within Federal Government of Canada, a future security with all benefits that covers me and my two kids until the day I die (yes, I'm a single mom & you've got to be an extremely impressive, amazing single man to change that! lol). 

I'm bless with rich talents to spread my wings to do side hustles, be my own boss, working from home in my spare times; as a Travel Business Owner & Consultant at Access Vacations, a Makeup Artist and Hair Stylist for bridal and special events at BlushPro, that brought me some extra cash for my pleasures. I enjoyed baking & cake decorating, I take cake orders sometimes, make cash doing what I love, baking Wedding & Special Occasion Cakes. Don't hate me if I say that I'm good at sewing, design & make my own clothes too. Grace to my mom for these talents & skills that she has handed down to me by default. 

I have my own unique vision of life; and the world as a vast, exciting place where I’m constantly freeloading. So much of being a free spirit is about having an easy going, positive attitude. That’s just me, rolling-with-the-punches, completely-fine-with-having-whatsoever me.

I’ve always just been who I am. But some introspecting, I realized I may have inherited this title from the woman who raised me: My mother. A strong single mom for as long as I can remember!

My mother was the epitome of a free spirit. She was youth of the 40s/50s; she made her own clothes and always spoke her mind. 

She taught me that makeup, clothing and all other objects of vanity should be tools to make me happy, not anyone else. I took her advice to heart over the years, so it’s no surprise that I ended up being a free spirit myself. However, it’s not without struggle. 

Having a free spirit in a constructed society full of norms and preset paths and expectations is such a challenge. Especially for someone like me, a young, divorced, single mother, born in the Asian culture where community approval is absolute must for everything in my life.. fuckin' exhausting!! some insecure women even forbid their men to be friend or talk to me in some occasions, AS...IF!! 

Free spirits like me live in a world that is constantly trying to define me and curb my very essence: 
I can’t function when I feel restricted. Whether it’s my bra constricting me, or society telling me I cannot think, feel or act a certain way. When I am restricted from being who I am, I fuckin' shut down! I functions best when I'm left to my own devices.
I plays by my own rules, but when I asked to deliver, I deliver 100 percent (and more if I could).

A free-spirited me, although unconventional, does everything with determination, heart and endless passion.
I constantly float between ideologies. I have an incredible thirst for knowledge. I'm constantly attempting to make sense of the world in which I dwell.

One day, I may be practicing Moslem, Buddhism and the next day, I may be interested in Astrology.
I take in all religion and spirituality, and I construct these beliefs into a single ideology that fits within my life.
I always seeking ways to expand my minds, make myself better person and become one with the world.

I will never shut another person for thinking differently, and I loathes discrimination and hatred. I always seeks the path of love and acceptance. I forgive easily but not forgotten. I don't validate 'grudge' in my life, and so it's out of my vocabulary! life sucks sometimes, it happened..so what?! suck it up and let it go! My life only goes ONE way..FORWARD! I don't let negative & toxic things/people rent space in my brain.
 
My lover may find it difficult to keep up! as I don't need anyone to fulfill me. Instead, I need him to be a lover who is strong enough to keep up with me. I see my lover as my equal and my partner. I am very loyal when it comes to a commitment (the fact that I was married for 13 yrs!), only fair if I get the same portion in return, I don't tolerate if my trust and self-respect is being violated. 

Free spirited like me need passion, understanding and patience from my lover. Because my brains are moving at a million miles per minute, I only invite in those who can enrich me.
I, in return, will also do everything in my power to love and enrich my partner in every area of his life with all respects.
“When you meet someone who is truly great, he makes you believe you can be great, too. This is the kind of relationship you want, and it's the only kind of relationship worth having.” ― Sherry Argov,

I am perpetual day dreamers. I find it difficult to focus because my heads are always in the clouds. It’s easy for me to zone out and get trapped inside my brains.

My friends snap fingers in front of my face when I drift off mid-sentence. People often tell me they don’t “get” me : ).
My way of thinking is not a straight line, but rather a winding maze that I am trying to navigate.

However, I don’t lack self-awareness. To the contrary, I'm usually too busy being self-aware of my brains, body, emotions and actions to concentrate on my immediate surroundings.

I was told I'm over-emotional. I absorb others’ pain, pleasure, anxiety, contentedness, fear and courage. My empathy causes me to go through powerful highs and lows.
I am always been the first person my friends go to when the life gets tough, it's because it’s not in my nature to be judgmental, so I'm easy to talk to.

I keep away from those who suck energy out of me, or worse, project their negativity, anxiety & fear onto me. I want to experience everything (that make sense!), at least once!. When faced with the option to spend my money on a pair of new shoes or a vacation, I always choose the experience.

My idea of beauty is unconventional. I will easily find beauty in the ugliest of situations. I feel like I can see through the rain clouds to the rainbow before anyone else in my life.
​I wear makeup, dye my hair and do or do not shave my legs because I want to. Beauty to me is found within, and it radiates from my very cores into the world around me. I do not let traditional ideas of beauty define me. I love my own body, but do not let physicality rule me.

Being a free spirit is not always easy. I may not always be understood and I may not always be accepted. I am so use to being brutally judged, defamed & hated, but  I am the woman who is not attempting to be anything I simply am! never try to impress anyone or anything, compete with no one else but my self and constantly challenge myself to be a better person than I was yesterday! 

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My History

Born in Kotamobagu (Manado) North Sulawesi-Indonesia, my childhood hometown until the age of 6. The youngest child in the family of 7 siblings. Father pure Arabic blood, Mother pure Bolaang Mongondow (Manadonese) blood (as mom story, her mother was one of the latest generation of the Bolaang Mongondow empire, kingdom that was exist in 14th century. Her great great great great grandfather was one of the king of this empire that was destroyed on the war against the Dutch in 1694. By all mean...that makes me a PRINCESS..: ) 

Raised by my single mom since I was 5, moved to Jakarta the capital city of Indonesia. I continue study here until finish elementary school. Moved to Bandung, West Java following mom who moved there since my Junior high and finish here all the way to Senior High

Moved back to Jakarta, living with my two sisters and completed my two University Degrees in this city. 

Got great job, great income following graduation, travel the world for business then in 1998 met the father of my kids (French Canadian) and married 6 months after we met. I moved to Canada the same year and started a dream of a happy family. 

2001 gave birth to my 1st bundle of joy, following the 2nd bundle of joy in 2005. Bought our 1st house in Gatineau and then 2nd house in Montreal. Life was perfect until 2008 we decided to go separate way after my trust been violated.

2008 got permanent job offer at Federal Office and here I am...today, happy as I could ever been, my fairy tales dream happy family has not turn the way I was vowed, but I believe it's exist for me! Today, I'm on my own two feet, raising my two girls with all great hope and bright future ahead of us! Full time single mom, Full time Employee with two side hustles... which leave me no time to be wasted for things that don't serve me, don't benefit me, my life and my future!